http://mpinsky.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] mpinsky.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] shadow_vector 2010-07-02 09:05 pm (UTC)

Beautiful introspective fic with wonderful style yet again (you know how I love me some run-ons). Deep, yet not dark—a story of contemplation with a shining ray of hope at the end. Lovely.

Two typos.

"hadmerely" needs a space.

"What mattered that no matter how deep under the sneer and the armor and the hardness, like a buried gemstone, the Starscream he remembered, the Starscream he had dreamed and loved and yearned for for vorns under ice, waited for him. "

This sentence to me, seems a bit awkward. Are you missing a word, maybe?

Either way, gorgeous little ficlet you have here. Absolutely enjoyed reading it. :)


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