Beyond Basic Cable

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

PG-13
TFPrime
Breakdown, Knockout, ref Bulkhead/Arcee
ref to sticky, mostly crack
for tf_speedwriting advent calendar prompt 'making a discovery'

Breakdown grumbled. Monitor duty. What the frag had he done to deserve monitor duty?  

All right. So, you know, the whole Polarity Gauntlet thing.  Sure. So he lost them some stupid relic thing. La-dee-scrappin-dah. They’d been fighting the war for ages without some fancy slag like that anyway.  It wasn’t his fault Airachnid had interfered. He’d totally got the situation handled until she showed up. 

He slumped in the chair, thumbing the dial to scroll through the feeds.  Airachnid.  Yeah that had worked out well. Not.  At least she’d taken some of the heat off him, and he’d been grateful—enough—for that, but  she’d really outstayed her welcome, as far as he was concerned.

Plus, scrap. He didn’t need a shield.  He wouldn’t have failed if she hadn’t messed everything up.  She took her own fraggin’ lumps. She’d earned ‘em.

Ship exterior left. Ship exterior right.  Perimeter sweep.  Loading ramp exterior.  Loading ramp interior.  Refectory. Armory.  Armory exterior.  Like a television with an endless selection of channels, all boring.

Breakdown sighed.  Even Knock Out seemed kind of torqued with him, like he’d had Airachnid stuck to his back on purpose or something.  Right. If he had to stick that leggy freak anywhere it would be some place he could actually reach!

Another circuit through the channels.  Nothing. Nothing. A bit more nothing.  Well, if they wanted to punish him, it was working.

Nah. There had to be something unboring here.  He pulled the console’s keypad to him, poking through the root directory. Eradicon training manual.  Starscream’s porn.  Knock Out’s hentai collection.  Soundwave’s collection of Ice Age movies. And…what was this?

It had a video file extension. Huh.  Only one way to find out.

A feed crackled on the monitor, resolution fuzzy and degraded. Shielding, or something. And some big green…lumpy thing was rocking back and forth.  He bumped the audio gain. What the…frag…

“Bulkhead?” 

Yeah. Bulkhead. And those noises were.... 

Holy frag.  The big moron who was currently getting his aft spiked good by…?  Breakdown found the camera directional toggle.

Arcee.  Breakdown felt his spike shrivel in its casing. Arcee who was hung like.... 

“Never seen you so interested in monitor duty.”

Breakdown whirled, blind side of his helm whacking into the back of the chair. Knock Out leaned on the threshold, arms folded, head tilted cockily. Breakdown fumbled blindly with one hand, slapping at the controls. And accidentally hitting the volume.

 “Oh, you like it rough, big boy?” Arcee taunted. A slapping sound. Breakdown felt his cheekplates heat.

Knock Out startled. “Is that…Arcee?”  Despite himself, he pushed from his casual lean, moving forward.  “And Bulkhead? Where did you get this?” 

“It’s a live feed,” Breakdown said, pointing to the scrolling timestamp. “Makeshift musta left it.”

“Makeshift, you absolute genius. And pervert.” Knock Out sounded almost envious. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Breakdown muttered. “But…,” he pointed at the screen. “Arcee.”

Knockout looked at the monitor. “Duh. Femmes.”  He gave a derisive sneer. “All size. No technique.” 

Breakdown squinted at the smaller mech. “Yeah, well...Bulkhead’s not one for technique.” Not that Breakdown was, at times.

“Taking it like a champ, though.” Knock Out said, pushing closer.  “Move over.”

“Hey! I was watching that!”

“Pfff,” Knock Out said, claws reaching for the keypad. “All well and good, but…let’s see what other little channels Makeshift left for us.”

Comments

[ravynfyre.livejournal.com]

SPLORF! *ded of laff* OMG this KILLED ME! *glomps* You magnificent demon woman!

[risamitsukai.livejournal.com]

*dying*

[eerian_sadow]

hahaha!! Makeshift the closet perv and Knockout the absolutely NOT closet perv!! *gigglefits* poor Breakdown; i hope he at least gets laid later.

[sneere.livejournal.com]

LOL! This is my new mental image of Arcee. Actually...I think that was always my mental image of Arcee but now its been put into words! XD

[femme4jack.livejournal.com]

Fabulous crack, and confirmed my secret head canon for Arcee.

And Soundwave's Ice Age movie collection *dies*

[arirashkae.livejournal.com]

And Soundwave's Ice Age movie collection *dies*

Oh, good. I'm not the only one who went :headtilt: at that! LOL

[arirashkae.livejournal.com]

Pfffffft!!! Oh, gods, I can hear them in my head, so perfectly!

BRB, ded of lol. XD

[jalaperilo.livejournal.com]

In read this fic this morning, and I swear it was the only thing that got me through the day! You need to write more TF:P, especially Knock Out and Breakdown.

[xxsomeoneelsexx.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GLORIOUS YEESSSSS *ROLLS IN THE WONDERFUL FIC*

I was dying at Knockout's hentai and Soundwwave's Ice Age movies and then DJFDJUICKXD$&%#FGYU*<>_$3!/¿ISDH

KNOCKOUT IS SO CASUAL ABOUT IT AND RJDMSKCUHSCXJD

THIS IS THE BEST THING.

THE BEST THING.




/ded of too much caps lock

[gwenithcoy.livejournal.com]

LOL! This was wonderful! Thanks for giving me something to giggle at. ^^

[mmouse15.livejournal.com]

That was extremely funny, especially Knock Out's "Move over."

Thanks for the laugh!

[xxsomeoneelsexx.livejournal.com]

READING THIS AGAIN BECAUSE IT IS SO AMAZING

[ladyofdragons.livejournal.com]

PFFFFFFFT! This is awesome, I am just dying here.