Kitty...erm...kitty!cade

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

G
Bayverse
Barricade, Starscream, repairbots
crack and fluff.

Okay, see? I keep telling you these people at nolongerlostrpg  are evil, right? They used their Evil Mind Control Powers on me again. And...yeah.  Kittified Barricade.  I hate me.  (Well, small consolation: at least none of y'all can see the chat where this happened, which is even worse!)

 

Barricade woke up, feeling…weird.  Starting with the stretching.  Since when did he feel the need to stretch, sticking his aft in the air like that?  Fraggin’ weird. But whatever. He stuck his arms out, into the stretch and…what…the…? 

Those…were not his hands.  Not at all.  His nice shiny silver talons?  His protective buffer of his wrist tires? Nope.  The tire had grown some sort of…fur or something, covering all but the very tips of his talons. 

Humans had obviously developed some completely noxious cyberchemical weapon.  Or…Wheeljack.  He wouldn’t put this thing past Wheeljack. Fraggin’ demented, that Autobot. Seriously. 

Still, so…his tires had gone furry. Big deal.  Suck it, Wheeljack.  Try harder.

He stretched forward, because, hey, it felt kinda good.  And then felt something swish against his thigh armor. 

A…tail?  Oh seriously.  This was too much.  Like ten kinds of ridiculous.  Furry hands, and now a tail. A  tail that swished agitatedly even as he looked at it, black and silver fur glossing in the light. 

Well, at least it was a nice looking tail.  Thick and kind of plush.  You know. If you had to have a tail and all, might as well be kinda cool.  He jumped off the bed.  And stopped.  No, you idiot.  Not on all fours.  Fraggin’ cybervirus.  He pushed himself to his feet, his tail lashing.  Fraggin’ ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. Absurd, or something.  Better get a look in the mirror to see how bad the damage was.

...

No. No. No way. He could…not go out like this.  His silver audio receptors had changed, to big, pointy, tufty silver cat ears, that flicked and moved almost as if they had their own sentience. Their own IRRITATED sentience.  Paws. Tail. Ears.  NO ONE could see him like this! He’d never live it down.  Ever.  Oh frag.  Especially not Blackout.  Copter’d remember this forever. 

He leapt back onto his berth, curling in a ball, wrapping his…deliciously plush tail around him, burying his face in its fur.  Think, Barricade, think.  You can, uh…reroute your work cube console here. Work from in here for the day.  Or, you know, forever.  With your tail.

Repairbots.  They had to be able to help. He could handle repairbots, right?  They weren’t even sentient: no way they’d laugh at him.  Right.  He sent a quick ping to the repair channel, requesting immediate assistance and warning for possible decontamination protocols. 

Repairbots would know what to do. They’d fix him.  And then he’d get to work on fixing Wheeljack. 

[***]

His door chimed, pulling him out of a doze.  Doze?  Since when was he so sleepy?  Fraggin’ virus.  Obviously part of Wheeljack’s plan.  Make the ‘cons all sleep through the war.  FAIL, Wheeljack.  You fail so hard.  He coded the door. Must be the repairbots. 

Repairbots skittered in along the ceiling track, pouring down the walls, a few pausing to take quick samples in case the room was contaminated.  Finally. Some help.

But then.

Oh, frag. 

“Barricade. Well. Is this not interesting?”  Starscream stood in the door of his recharge, head tilted, optics wide and amused.

“It is NOT interesting,” Barricade snapped. His tail whipped. Frag. “Not interesting at all!” The tail continued to flick from side to side. He slapped one of his furred hands on it to get it to stop.

Starscream stifled a choking sound.  “I…see.”

“Yeah? Well you’d better UNsee, jet.”

Starscream entered the room, letting the door close behind him. Good idea letting the door close: last thing Barricade needed was more looky-loos peeping in. The bad idea was that Starscream was on the wrong fraggin’ side of the door.

“I presume there is an explanation for this?” Starscream asked.

“If there is, I don’t slaggin’ know it,” Barricade snarled.  He felt a tickling in his audios, and realized that in irritation he’d flattened his ears and the tufted fur was tickling.  Unlivable.  Seriously. Even without the mocking jet. “Woke up like this.” 

Starscream came nearer.  “It is perhaps not so bad?”

“Not so bad? I have EARS!!! A tail!”  He held up one of his silver-furred hands. “PAWS!” 

“Adorable paws,” Starscream said, mildly. 

Barricade growled. “Come a little closer and say that again.” 

Starscream stepped closer. “Adorable…paws.” Goading, openly. 

Barricade howled. “Hate you!” He swiped the air in front of the jet. “Should count yourself lucky I don’t want to contaminate you with this fraggin’ thing!” 

“I am…unafraid,” Starscream said. He reached out boldly, his talons brushing against the tufted ears.  “The repairbots can decontaminate me now that they have isolated the contagion.”  He wiggled his talons, scritching the silver ears.  Oh, wait. That felt…kinda good actually.  Barricade leaned his head into the touch, optics dimming with pleasure.  Starscream snickered.

“Hey!” Barricade swatted the hand away, irritated.  His tail thumped against the berth.  “Not making this any easier, you know?”

“Oh? Was that my job? To make this easier?”

Barricade glowered. “Why are you here, anyway?”

Starscream shrugged. “Any repair bay pings get admin routed to me.  Still.” 

“And you just couldn’t pass it up, huh?” Thwap, thwap. 

“Maybe I was a little concerned?”  The jet stretched his hand again, stroking it over the ears.  Barricade hated that he arched into it. Even more when his engine started purring.  Fraggin’ virus!  Still.  It did feel awfully good. 

The jet settled down onto the berth.  “Maybe,” Starscream said, stroking one long hand down Barricade’s spinal struts, out along his tail, “we could keep you like this?”

Barricade shot him the Look of Death, ears flattening.  “Don’t even think it, jet.” 

“It has its advantages.”

“Like what?” Thwap.

“For one, we can tell how you are feeling.”

Thwap. “Awesome. Guess how I’m feeling right now.” 

Starscream laughed. “And for another, you are disarmingly cute.”  He reached to stroke the cup of the ear again. 

“That’ll come in handy.”  Barricade griped as he tried to turn his head away, but…ended up flopping against Starscream’s thigh, stretching his furred hands down the leg.  Fraggin’ virus.  Ruining him. “Look, just…get it fixed.”

Starscream blurted something in the rudimentary language of repairbots.  One clicked back. “They are working on it. It should only be a few cycles.”

“Few cycles too fraggin’ long!” 

“Awww,” Starscream teased, stroking his hand down the furry tail, holding its length, watching amused as the tip of the tail flipped back and forth like an angry little snake, “we can find a way to pass the time pleasantly.”

“Don’t even want to think what you’re thinking,” Barricade snarled. No way. No interfacing. Not like this.  He sank one paw full of claws into the jet’s thigh.  Starscream winced. Laughed. 

“What I am thinking?” The grin spread.  “Merely that we should try and find you a ball of string.” 

 

Comments

[crazedwolf.livejournal.com]

xDxD

Oh poor Barricade. YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT!

And mind control? Hardly. Cx You know you love it.

[ravynfyre.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

OMG, seriously so awesome! *dying here*

[chibirisuchan.livejournal.com]

Heeeee! I think possibly the funniest part was how less than 5 seconds into contemplation of possible causes, he came up with Wheeljack. (Poor Wheeljack. Sometimes it's not always an experiment gone wrong. Of course, most of the time it is...)

Starscream's got really good scritching-hands too. :3 No wonder Barricade goes rug-shaped on him. (and omg, ball of yarn! :3 :3 :3 Would need a really BIG ball of yarn. I used to think that was a joke, until I discovered how my cat reacts whenever I get out the crocheting. And he likes the twitching, flashing crochet hook even more than the yarn. (am now crafting-doomed))

[sontsunami06.livejournal.com]

XD ROFL. Oh man ::donates stash yarn to Starscream:: this was hilarious! And I can just see kittycade. If this is what mind control does, I endorse it wholeheartedly! XD

[mmouse15.livejournal.com]

Bless the cracky kitty prompting!

This is really adorable crack, Antepathy. Poor Barricade!

[eerian_sadow]

*snickers* poor barricade. would be hard to take that seriously, though.

the guys over in that chat are purveyors of some fine crack. ;)

[femme4jack.livejournal.com]

Primus bless Wheeljack forever if he really is responsible for that. Adorable crack!

[playswithworms.livejournal.com]

“Adorable paws,” Starscream said, mildly.

*falls over laughing forever*

And I love how Barricade's tail has a mind of it's own :D For all their reputation for being mysterious, cats really can't manage the poker face, can they, lol, the tail gives it all away.

[playswithworms.livejournal.com]

*its own

DAH! D:

[virosus.livejournal.com]

For some reason my brain is stuck on the ball of yarn. Specifically the acquisition of a yarn ball big enough for Barricade. What poor minion would get that job? Knocking over a Michaels and pilfering their yarn supply. Tying all the ends together. I bet it would get tangled something fierce in their plating. Hee. Blackout with yarn all tangled in his rotors.

It is, perhaps, time for me to get some sleep. I have apparently gone a bit strange.

[flybystardancer.livejournal.com]

Nah, just grab one of those "Pound of Love" skeins. Those things can get HUGE.

[wingzbot.livejournal.com]

XD Written on my birthday, too =) Kitty!Cade is so adorable!!!

<3! **wonders what Skywarp would say**

[arirashkae.livejournal.com]

How did I miss this?!? Adorable! Especially how much he's "growlIhatethisdon'ttou-oooooskrithces!"

Yay, kitty!cade! :donates more yarn:

[ithilgwath.livejournal.com]

*snicker*snort* poor poor Barricade. though can ya really blame Starscream for wanting to pet him and find him some string to play with? XD