Reach Out and Annoy Someone

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

PG-13
Bayverse
Blackout/Barricade
pnp, really, really bad phonesex
for tf_speedwriting 
A/N.  AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL. I’ve never done the whole phonesex or cybering thing in my life. *iz ashamed*

 

 

Blackout was bored.  Long, boring shift on watch, staring at monitors.  It was fraggin’ lethal to a decent mech’s sanity. And he was really beginning to struggle staying online. 

On top of that, Blackout was really, really frisky.  Frag.  Bored, frisky, and impatient.  This must be what it feels to be Barricade. Except all the slaggin’ time. 

Barricade. Huh. Blackout felt a smile spread beneath his cheek flanges. He owed the little grounder good for the other day, anyway.  Putting thermo-nanites in his rotorblade wax. Seriously.  Not. Cool.  Get him hot and bothered?  Turnabout is fair play.

Revenge, they said, is an energon cube best served cold. Except like hot, in this case.

//Barricade.//  Heh. This was going to be fun.

//On.// A pause. //What the frag you want, copter?//

What the frag indeed.  Blackout fought to keep the laugh from his voice. //You.//

//….  What?//

//I want you, Barricade. You know.// He stifled another laugh. //That way.//

//What way? Dead?//

Okay, Barricade was not making this easy.  But, all the better.  At least Blackout was awake now.  //The other way.//

//Tortured?//  He sounded…confused.

//Gonna have to draw you a picture?//

//No way. I’ve seen your art, copter.//

Hey!  Blackout frowned.  Little fragger.  Making fun of his art.  Seriously.  //Okay, then.  Like this. I want you…uh…on the ground.//

//Hello? Groundframe? Sorta what I do. That ground stuff.// 

//I mean like…on your front. On the ground.  And I’m like…playing with your little wing things.// Hey, they were kind of cute.  Especially the way they went stiff and upright when Barricade got shocked.  Like, he hoped, right about now.

//My…whuh…are you feeling all right, Blackout?//

//Feel better if I were nibbling on those tires of yours.//

A long silence.  Then, an unsteady ventilation.  //I…uh….//

Blackout felt his grin go wider. So wide he worried it crept into his voice. //Hey, you don’t have to say anything, Barricade.  Just sorta lie there and stuff.  And I’ll just run my hand down your side. //

//Uhhh, this supposed to be turning me on or something?// More unsteady ventilation.

//Is it?//

//None of your damn business, copter!// 

Heh.  Answer right there, wasn’t it.  //Fine then.  You just lie there all NOT turned on and stuff while I bend over and lick that little spot between where your little wing thingies attach.// Actually, that was kind of hot. 

A muffled squeak. Which was even hotter.

//And I’m just gonna hang over you for a couple of kliks.  You can feel my EM field against you, and maybe my vents on your back.//

Another squeak.

Time to push more. //And you? What are you doing? Or just bein’ all, like, passive and stuff.// He smirked.

//Me? I’m…uhh…I’m going to roll over.//

//Yeah?  What then?//

//See if I can grab some rotor.// The words rushed out, fast, as if escaping some filter.  Blackout’s rotors twitched. 

//And if you get lucky?//

//And get some rotor? Uh…,// Another pause, a sound like a debate. //I want to like, you know, twist it a bit, rock it in the teeter hinge?// He sounded strangely shy. 

//So do it,// Blackout said. 

A hiss of air.  //An-and I want to play with it.  I’m…uh,…running it down between my hands, you know, like my palms and stuff flat on the blade?//

Okay, that was actually pretty damn hot. Blackout caught his engines rumbling on.  Huh. Time to escalate. //Yeah? I’m bending over you, and licking at your headlamp. Because running lights are hot.//  Well, he thought so about his. 

A groan.  //Okay.  Fine.  I’m gonna run my talons over your chassis, and trace the line of your cockpit windows.  You know, my little talons and stuff.//

Frag.  Blackout twitched.  //Oh yeah?  I’m moving down too low for that, Barricade, so I can, you know, nibble on your interface hatch.//

//Not. Fair.// Barricade groused. 

//Oh, you don’t want me to?//  Blackout smirked, regaining some equanimity.  //You gonna stop me? I’m like…how many times your size?//

//Kick you in the face if I didn’t want it,// Barricade retorted. 

//So you do want it.//

//Shut up.//  A pause. //Only, uh, don’t shut up. Just, uh, shut up about that.  You know.//  

Blackout snorted.  Seriously. Most of the time he wanted to throttle Barricade till at least two of his optics popped, but sometimes, he was just too fraggin’ cute.  //So, don’t shut up about opening your interface hatch? And, maybe, about taking out your connector cable?//

//Uhhhhh yeah.  You can keep talking about that.// The voice was thin, unsteady. //And I’m going to, uh….//

//Lie there and take it,// Blackout suggested, helpfully.  //You know, because you don’t really have a choice.//

A gulping sound. //Y-yeah.//

//Good.  Because I’m taking out my cable, and I’m going to sit back and make sure you get a real good look as I connect them.  How’s that feel?//

A squelch of static. //I…whoa. Uh.//

//That’s good, right?//

//…yeah.//

//My datastream’s slow and hard.// He waited for the obvious ‘and so are you’ crack. It didn’t come.  Heh. //You like it?//

//Frag yeah.// 

//Good, because I’m pushing it in, aiming for your firewalls, letting the pulse bounce off them, echoing around.// He paused. //And I’m biting one of your wrist tires.  Because I like how the rubber feels.//

He heard a strange sound, like ‘meep’ from over the line.  Which was good because, yeah, he was getting kind of into it.  He’d feel stupid if he was the only one. 

//I—I’m going to, uh, bite into your throat.//

Blackout purred. //I can feel your facial armor under my chin. I lift my head so you have more room and your little dentae are sharp and hard on one of my subsidiary energon lines.// Huh. Too technical?  This was harder than it looked.

//I…uh…can’t talk now since I’m like biting into you and stuff.//

Blackout burst out laughing. //Cheating! Should’ve known you’d cheat, Barricade, seriously.//

//NOT cheating.  So not cheating. Maybe I just wanna lie back and relax, you know?//

Blackout snorted. //Never pegged you for a bottom, Barricade.//

//AM NOT!  I’m just…choosing my moment. That’s all.//

Riiiiiiiight.  Fine, he wanted to play that way?  Blackout could play, too.  //Oh frag,// he said. //Look at the time.//

//What about the time?//

Blackout smirked. //I’m off shift.  Sorry.//

//No! No way! You are NOT gonna end it here!//

//Want to bet?//

//Not cool, copter. Not cool at all.// He whimpered. Wow, little grounder was really turned on.

And, yeah, so was Blackout.  He relented. //Maybe just sick of having to use my imagination.//

Barricade took the hint—it splatted against him dully like a wet rag.  //I’m, uh, I’m off shift in a deca. You know.  Just…uh, random trivia and stuff.//

Blackout grinned, revenge entirely forgotten.  //Be right there.//

 

 

 

Comments

[ithilgwath.livejournal.com]

mmm maybe next time, yeah... but still turned out as a win for him. ^____^