Looking Up and Seeing.

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

PG-13
IDW
Springer, Drift
spoilers/refs to LSOTW
for tf_rare_pairing Drift/Springer trust is earned.
.

Springer sat down catty-corner across from the smaller mech, placing a fresh cube of high grade in front of him, holding another.  “Look like you could use it, Drift.”  It had been a bad mission, start to finish. One of those Morphobot’s Laws or something: bad tentacles getting into everything.

They’d gotten out okay by Wreckers’ standards. Which meant lost limbs and another small archive of trauma mechs like Rewind would love to get their hands on.  But alive wasn’t always good enough. 

“I’m fine,” Drift said, looking at the cube questioningly, as though trying to see the invisible strings. There weren’t any, beyond Springer trying to reach out, get over his mistrust. Because he’d seen Drift out there, and Drift was good. A bit reckless, but that was hardly unique in the Wreckers. 

“I’m sure you are. Now you can be ‘fine’ and slightly overcharged.” An easy smile, and he tipped his own cube up as a hint. 

A weak answering grin, Drift’s hand curved over the cube.  “Good point.”

“I tend to have them,” Springer said, blandly. He settled his long legs out.  “So.  How’d you like it.”

“It. Fighting?” A shrug. “It’s what I do.” As if agreeing, the light caught and winked from the gem of his Great Sword.

“Do it pretty well.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” Drift said, smiling ruefully into his cube.

Yeah, that. “Look.” He waited until Drift met his gaze. “I’m not going to lie, I didn’t want you on this team.”

“I know,” Drift whispered.

Springer laughed. “That obvious?”

A shrug. “It’s expected. I wouldn’t trust me, either, situation reversed.”  Then a quiet laugh. “Not that I trusted anyone.”

“It’s not about trust. Not really. Like. Okay.” He gestured with his cube at Whirl, who was limping by, a new ankle servo gleaming, balancing a stack of cubes on the flats of his long claws. “Whirl’s been in the brig so often Prowl’s going to dedicate a new wing in his name.”  Whirl’s long head revolved right at them. Springer gave a wave. “Thing is. When it comes down to it, no one’s better at his job than he is.”

A nod, blue optics warily studying Whirl as the copter gave a rude gesture and limped off.  “And me.”

“You.  Thing is, all that matters to me is I can count on you to get my back.”

“And can you?” Challenge in Drift’s optics.  

Springer canted his helm. “Yes.  Question is: This what you’re looking for?”

“Looking for?”

“Look, Drift.” He took a long sip of his energon. “You don’t just switch sides on a whim. And it’s none of my business what happened.” He waved off any explanation with one hand. Stories were just that. Stories.  Words strung together to make a pretty picture. And he’d read enough Wreckers Declassified to doubt the veracity of any story. “I just want to know what you’re after here.”

“Just…,” Drift sighed, swiping a hand over his helm. “Just a chance to undo what I did.” He gave another lopsided grin at the table. “Probably stupid, to fix killing with more killing, but…it’s all I know.”

“It’s all most of us know,” Springer said, the smile fading into something moodier. He swirled the energon in its cube, watching the little pink cyclone.  “And sometimes,” he sighed, feeling the energon he’d drunk muzz through his sensornet, like a woolly blanket, “I wonder if we’ll ever be able to learn anything else.”

“We can,” Drift said, and for the first time, the guarded look fell from his optics, bright and blue and open.  “We can learn better. One day we will.” 

“Maybe some of us can’t.” He thought back to Impactor, Pova, and the almost betrayed glower Impactor had given him as they had taken him away. Impactor wouldn’t change, ever.  In a way, he wouldn’t be Impactor if he could. And Springer still didn’t know how he felt about that: it was hard to turn your back on millennia of idolization, even with the memory of the hole through his chassis burning in him.

“All the more reason,” Drift said. “If I can change, maybe others will have faith enough to try. And maybe even trying…counts for something.” The tentative smile seemed to liquefy, and Springer found himself leaning over, one hand on the chair’s back behind Drift, his mouth covering that trembling smile.

It wasn’t much of a kiss, more passion than desire, more the need to taste that idealism, that faith, than the urge to push it into the physical. Drift’s hand came up, brushing the green of his helm, shy and almost soothing.  Springer pulled away, embarrassed. He wasn’t known for being impetuous, least of all this way. The swordsmech’s black hand slipped to his chassis, burning a trail of touch over his armor. 

“If you ever find that slipping,” Springer said, “you’ll know it’s time to leave us.” His mouth quirked in a smile. “Best I can tell you.”

“You make it sound like the Wreckers are lost causes.”

Springer could still taste the kiss, the tingle of Drift’s mouth on his, surprised and sudden.  “Most of us are. Some are like you, trying to find some redemption in it. Some just like killing.  Some just want to die, but want to make it count, like heroic suicide.” What was in this engex? He hadn’t planned on getting so maudlin. He never did.

“And you?” A pause, then a soft snort. “After all, you asked me. It’s only fair.”

Springer cycled a deep vent. “I…have no idea. Trying to keep us all together and functional, I guess. Fight the war. Win where no one else even has a chance of surviving.”  Too much, he realized, grandiose and false sounding.  It soured the sweetness of the kiss.

“I think,” Drift said, and he let his hand brush the side of Springer’s, gently, “you’re trying to make up for something, too.”

Springer snorted. “That would make us alike.” And it hit him: they weren’t that far apart in that. He’d had an epiphany on Pova, of right and wrong and heroism and brutality, a hard lesson written on his body, hammered into his memory with every pull of the trigger. He’d fallen. They’d all fallen, prey to the temptation of lawlessness. And he’d let Impactor be its victim, a scapegoat who carried all their sins. And the others had nominated him, and he’d accepted, some twisted, painful penance.  Impactor’s boots were hard to fill, harder to turn to right.  He’d seen his own appalling darkness, but unlike Drift, his light was a thin glimmer, a candle in the distance: whatever lit Drift burned like a beacon.

“It could be worse.” Drift tried the joke, which sank under its own weight.  He paused for a moment. “It’s easier, though, to sink into it, isn’t it? Be mindless about it, never look up from what you’re doing. Trying to do that, seeing what you do and what it makes you—it hurts.”  He sat back, laughing. “I’m sure this probably isn’t what you wanted to talk about.”

“No,” Springer said, looking around at the others, settled in their groups, playing their gambling games, or watching holovids.  A knot of them burst into raucous laughter, a stark contrast to this quiet, tense knot between he and Drift. “But I think it’s what I needed.”

Comments

[atomicriotbot.livejournal.com]

Now that made my heart hurt good. Loving your Springer.♥

[pl2363.livejournal.com]

:3 Awww... I loved it! I envy your ability to capture characters so well. Springer is such an underrated character, he's really got depth you managed to capture. <3

[acidgreenflames.livejournal.com]

Oh this was fantastic! I love seeing Springer and Drift together and you write them so well! Wonderful job.

[wind-on-wave.livejournal.com]

Wow, Springer. You try to be.. gentle?
And dialogs. Awwww *__* i always like your dialogs.

[ravynfyre.livejournal.com]

What a fantastic look at Springer growth! very nicely done!

[playswithworms.livejournal.com]

Now see? That's what I'm talking about! Brilliancy ^^ Taking the bits of IDW and giving them so much depth and meaning and emotion and...stuff I want to dive in and roll around in forever. I love Springer's impulsive kiss, seeing something in another and wanting to understand it, make it a part of yourself, maybe.

[tainry.livejournal.com]

Morphobot's Laws!!!!!!!!!! ROFFLE!!!
Bad tentacles! No biscuit!
Rather like that Drift is a smallish mech. Small scrappy guys; do like. ;D
Snarky cameo by Whirl!
Drift burning bright. :D
Smooches!
<3