Dream

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

G
G1
Skyfire/Starscream
no warnings
485 words
48 minutes

Written for tf_speedwriting  prompt from, yo, ages ago, 'worth waiting for'.  Yeah, I've been going through a slump and digging through old prompts, I hope, will kickstart something. 

Skyfire remembered dreaming. All those vorns in the ice, immobilized, trapped, he wasn’t dead.  He was dreaming, systems shut down to barest self-containment, lasercore and cortex only.  No audio, no video, no sensory feedback.  A human, in such sensory deprivation, would go mad, hallucinate. Perhaps Skyfire had merely done the same, all those vorns in ice, his cortex shooting random fantasy images.  Feeding him delusions.

They kept him fed.  They kept him…whole.  His past, every detail, some crystal-edged and clear, others soft and pastel.  Beautiful, altogether, like atoms in a molecule.  And his dreams stripped away the unimportant things, and gave him only what mattered, showed him his errors ruthlessly, endlessly. But also showed him joys, that he’d needlessly complicated by worrying too much about past or future. 

If I could live them over now, he had thought, I would not let such petty concerns get in the way. I would realize, I have realized, that my ego is nothing. A thin shell that I have let too many times stand in the way  of pure transmission. 

He remembers those promises.  Remembers feeling pure, raw emotion, trying to live off that, and rejecting it, ultimately, as he must, as one-sided.  As the result of fantasia, nothing more. 

Love was nothing if not reciprocated.  What he’d dreamt, there, in the ice, had only shown him that, made him starved for the reality.

Which had…disappointed.  Because as soon as he had finally awoken, like some princess in an Earthling fairy tale, he had seen Starscream, and it had seemed like…just another dream.  By the time he had convinced himself it was true; that Starscream, the real Starscream, was standing in front of him, it was too late. Reality had crashed in against them both, with its loyalties and complications and conflicts, dulling the bright colors of his dream. 

And Skyfire had let the colors muddy and run, his vision blurred, too newly awake. He’d grasped for ideals, instead of the reality. He’d foregone his dreaming clarity. And Starscream had eluded him, like a chromatic gas, slipping around his fingers. 

His vision had cleared again.  He loved the Autobots, and their ideals.  He fretted endlessly for what Starscream must endure, not only from their years of separation, but in the different values of the Decepticons.  But all of those were distractions. Others. Irrelevant factors. 

What mattered was Starscream. What mattered was that no matter how deep under the sneer and the armor and the hardness, like a buried gemstone, the Starscream he remembered, the Starscream he had dreamed and loved and yearned for for vorns under ice, waited for him. Pure.  Open. Clean.

And one day, just as Skyfire had woken from his dream, Starscream would wake from his nightmare, and their colors would come together and eddy and swirl, without running, without resisting. And they would be one. 

They would all, as Optimus had always promised, be one. 

Comments

[mpinsky.livejournal.com]

Beautiful introspective fic with wonderful style yet again (you know how I love me some run-ons). Deep, yet not dark—a story of contemplation with a shining ray of hope at the end. Lovely.

Two typos.

"hadmerely" needs a space.

"What mattered that no matter how deep under the sneer and the armor and the hardness, like a buried gemstone, the Starscream he remembered, the Starscream he had dreamed and loved and yearned for for vorns under ice, waited for him. "

This sentence to me, seems a bit awkward. Are you missing a word, maybe?

Either way, gorgeous little ficlet you have here. Absolutely enjoyed reading it. :)

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

Wow there's this amazing coincidence that the only time you leave comments are in fics where I screw up. Thanks for the fixes! ^__^ Maybe one day you'll leave a comment on something I *didn't* screw up?

[mpinsky.livejournal.com]

*sighs* I didn't mean it that way.

I do need to go back and comment on some fics, don't I? I still need to comment on that Starscream/Barricade one. Meant to do so earlier, but forgot. Yay, I fail! \o/

[albydarned.livejournal.com]

Stuff like this makes me ache so much for these two. I know I've said this before, but damn it, I just want them to work, yanno? Epic romance is epic (and tragic).

And one day, just as Skyfire had woken from his dream, Starscream would wake from his nightmare, and their colors would come together and eddy and swirl, without running, without resisting. And they would be one.

*teary eyes* Beautiful, beautiful imagery right here.

[library-drone01.livejournal.com]

You continue to awe me