Tunnel

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

PG
Bayverse
Barricade/Starscream
angstyfluff, h/c
written for 10_orders  prompt 'don't cry'

Starscream knew where to find him.  Then again, he always had. Even though the service tunnel was so tight that Barricade’s side mirrors scraped against the metal walls, Starscream could find him, pry open the hatch, and settle down on the floor, determined to wait him out.  It was like the jet had a sixth sense. Or, more likely, a locator beacon.

“Go away,” Barricade said, finally, after a cycle had passed like this. 

“Why?”

A long silence while Barricade regretted even saying that much. Then, “Better things to do.”

“Have I?” Starscream shifted one leg in front of the aperture.  “I am flattered that you follow my duty roster.”

A growling sound from the small service tunnel.

Starscream smiled, gently.  Barricade was so…fragile at times like this.  It was impossibly alluring.  “I am not going to hurt you,” he said, just barely inflecting some teasing into his voice.

The growling grew louder, then snapped off.  “Know that.”

“I know,” Starscream said, patiently.  He patted the deck plating in front of the tunnel invitingly.  “Come out.” 

“Frag off.”

Starscream sighed, melodramatically.  The hand disappeared, only to reappear and push an unopened cube of fizzy pink Seeker-grade energon in the mouth of the tunnel.  “You should at least get some nourishment.”

“Don’t need it.”

Starscream rolled his optics.  “You lose credibility when you deny to the point of basic survival.” 

“Fine,” the voice grumbled, and the visible corner of the cube whisked out of sight.  Starscream nodded.  He would pull the truth out of Barricade.  He knew how to handle him.  Long, long acquaintance and intimacy had taught him that much.  He waited. Patience was key. 

“Gettin’ me overcharged isn’t going to help,” the surly voice said, just as the cube—now empty—clattered out of the tunnel and across the floor.

“I did not think you needed help.”  A lie.  Barricade needed this, even this curious ungainly dance.  It was a distraction. It was a relationship he could trust.  “I would like to see you, however,” he ventured. 

A string of cursing, that echoed and rattled from the tunnel, but slowly, slowly, a fender peeped out of the tunnel’s mouth.  Starscream moved his leg out of the way.  The vehicle stopped. “There.  Can see me now.”

Starscream grinned at Barricade’s churlishness. “Yes, I can.  And I can do this as well.”  He placed one palm, flat, on the car’s hood.  Non-sexual. Non-threatening.  Simply…a touch. Simply a recognition of physicality.  He felt Barricade flinch from his touch, fight the flinch.

“Don’t need you,” Barricade snapped. 

“I am aware of that,” Starscream said.  “I merely wanted to touch you.” 

The hood trembled, and then burst as Barricade unfolded into his root mode, rising unsteadily to his feet.  “Don’t want to touch me,” he accused, his optics tight-focused and blazing. 

“I do,” Starscream said, simply.  It was the truth. No lie, no embellishment. He let the truth of it ring between them, holding his hand out to Barricade, but not forcing another touch on him. It would be too intimate, too raw, to inflict on the grounder. Starscream knew—enough—what must have happened.  And he hated that he could not protect Barricade from that.  If he could make their connection public, no one would dare lay a hand on the grounder.  But…Starscream could not.  And Barricade would most likely resent that form of possessive protection.  This was Starscream’s penance, which he gladly undertook. 

Barricade considered the hand, his optics slowly traveling up the arm to Starscream’s intent face, scouring the jet’s face for any sign of mockery.  He stepped forward, hesitantly, torn between conflicting desires of his frame—one half of him feeling polluted, terrified; the other craving the soothing contact of another mech’s EM field, another mech’s armor. 

Starscream knew when to push: he reached forward, scooping the smaller mech against him.  He needed, he knew, this touch as much as Barricade did.  He folded his long forearms around the grounder’s back, feeling Barricade nuzzle, timidly, into his shoulder, the small talons clutching at him. 

Barricade shuddered in his arms, the window-wings jouncing. 

“Hush,” Starscream said, stroking his hand down the trembling wings. “Do not cry, Barricade.”

“Tired of it happening,” Barricade murmured into his throat.  “Tired of being weak.”

“You are not,” Starscream admonished, “weak.  You are stronger than they.”

“Not…right now.”  The bitterness twisted the words into blackened shards.  Starscream felt a hot leak of optical lens lubricant on his collar armor, Starscream’s gentleness breaking him open even where the violence and abuse of others had failed.

“Yes,” he breathed. “Even right now.” Stronger for not having broken, despite their best efforts.  Stronger for having the courage to be seen, touched, consoled.  He felt the arms tighten around him again, the face lift off his armor for a moment, as if contemplating something to say.  Nothing came, and the head lowered down against Starscream’s shoulder again. 

What, after all, could be said?  What could words accomplish that this moment of silent touch could not?

Comments

[anontfwriter.livejournal.com]

Beautiful!

[http://users.livejournal.com/__wilderness__/]

I.... have no words...
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.
.
Wait, yes I do. Beautiful. So emotional and moving and beautiful.

[library-drone01.livejournal.com]

love love love. this is truly toughing

[sontsunami06.livejournal.com]

::wibble:: awww Barricade ;_; I thought Starscream was trying to get him drunk at first too, and Barricade's attitude was to the point of adorably heartbreaking. This is such a beautiful piece.

[yukiko-angel.livejournal.com]

They are so .... wow

[xxsomeoneelsexx.livejournal.com]

I dunno about Barricade, but I might need a few tissues. Well done.

[wingzbot.livejournal.com]

**pets Barricade** ;-; He's having such a hard time lately!

This ficlet was just so beautifully written! Well done, as always. **hugs**

**goes for tissues**

[catraven.livejournal.com]

You have a definite talent, my friend. This is truly beautiful. I'm so hooked on this pairing. :D

Thank you.