The Weak One

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

R
Bayverse, Sky and Ground AU
Barricade, Skywarp, Starscream, Megatron, Soundwave
noncon

Barricade felt himself twitch in his recharge, heard a soft whimper, and realized, helplessly, mortified, that it was from his vocalizer.  But still, he was powerless to stop the nightmare. Just as he had been powerless…then.

“The weak one,” Megatron said, his voice acid and dark.  “Always will be.” 

Barricade trembled, even though his body didn’t move, his entire frame under Soundwave’s control.  Instead, his body stepped forward, dropping to the knees, then lower, pressing his face into the ground.  “Yes,” his voice said into the floor.  Soundwave’s control, but no less true.  He was the weak one of the quaterne. And always would be. 

He watched, felt, thrashed in horror as his frame crawled forward, abasing itself.  Megatron offered a foot, snorting with a vile amusement.  “Pathetic,” he muttered, loud enough for Barricade to hear, knowing, or guessing, that Barricade could hear him, could writhe inwardly like a burning rag, as his face pressed against the foot, the filthy treads sour and gritty against his glossa. 

Barricade discovered you could cry without crying, howl without sound, humiliation pouring itself through his systems like a blinding white fire, scorching and withering everything in him that could feel. 

“More,” Megatron whispered, less to Barricade than to Soundwave, as though this were a game between them, nothing more than that.  That Barricade was nothing more than a pawn of a fleeting amusement. That this debasement was not even anything memorable. One humiliation in a string of them.

Barricade thought back frantically, numbly, to Starscream. Oh. Yes. He understood more than he wanted to.  And more than anything he wanted Starscream right now, wanted the one mech who had even a fragment of a clue what he was going through to curl around him, a cocoon of sympathy, asking nothing, giving the simple comfort of a fellow survivor who was not sure why he had fought so hard to survive.

But no.  Soundwave had given some noise of assent, and the hack went further into Barricade’s cortex, pushing him forward, crawling him up Megatron’s body; words, begging words, pleading for the honor of the humiliation, tumbling out of his vocalizer until Megatron had cut off the flow of clumsy words, not his words, with his thick spike, driving Barricade’s mouth against it until the smaller mech gagged. 

Yes.  Soundwave had allowed him that much reflex: to gag, to have his hands flutter, helpless, against Megatron’s thighs, trying to create space, trying to exert some pitiful iota of control. A show, taunting Barricade with his helplessness, even while that helplessness amused Megatron—Barrricade could feel the spike surge in his mouth, another  dollop of cold lubricant clogging his intake. 

Memory purge.  Just a memory purge. That’s all. That’s. ALL.

Except it was real. It had happened, and was happening again in his memory. 

He gave a sob of helpless frustration, one that echoed back, muffled, against an armored chassis.

“Barricade,” a soft voice murmured in his audio. Megatron! No. Not him.  Not his voice, and when Barricade turned his head away from the horrific vision, his head responded, his neck servos firing obediently. 

Starscream. He felt the jet’s presence across the bond, behind him, around him.

He clawed his way out of recharge, clinging to the warm, familiar presence, the soft voice anchoring him with a shapeless murmur, solid touches, pinning him to reality. To here. To now. 

His optics flashed online, his limbs twitching.

“Hush,” Starscream murmured, and Barricade felt a warm touch on the top of his helm. “Hush.” 

“Sorry!” Barricade gasped.  His hands clutched at the bronze hand in front of him, curling around the large spines. 

He lifted his head, his olfactory sensors taking in the beloved familiar smell of Skywarp, his face lifting from Skywarp’s chassis.  Skywarp’s hand slicked down his side. “Okay, little spike?”

“’M fine. Bad purge.”

A half-smile, a little sad. “That’s what it looked like.”  He put his own hand in front of Barricade’s, as if a little envious of Barricade’s clutching hands.  Barricade shifted his hands, gripping the long black talons instead.  “Starscream said you called for him on the bond.” 

Had he?  He’d…thought of him. He nodded, miserably.  “Sorry.” 

Skywarp bent forward, kissing his crest. “Don’t apologize. We’re a quaterne.” 

Starscream nuzzled Barricade affectionately.  “It is no problem, Barricade,” he said, softly. Barricade squelched a sudden panic—how much had leaked over the bond?  All that effort to keep it together—to be betrayed in his recharge.  He could recharge alone from now on? 

No. Even if that wasn’t…obvious, they’d feel something across the bond. He shriveled.

“Barricade,” Starscream murmured. “We have done this for ourselves many times.  You are one of us.  We do not want you in pain.”

“Not in pain,” he said, quietly, turning his head.

“There are different varieties of pain. They are all pain.”  Starscream’s simple, strange wisdom. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Skywarp asked.  Barricade shook his head, urgently.  “I’d like to know….”

Barricade’s optics flashed white in panic. 

“Now is not the time,” Starscream said. “Later.  When he is ready.”

Skywarp frowned. “You’d know best.”

“Yes,” Starscream said, his voice sharp and sad. “I would.”  

Skywarp blinked, twitching as though struck.  Barricade felt a sharp prick of remorse from him for some ancient transgression. He ached. Despite his best efforts, he was causing them pain. Hurting even while trying to protect. Failure, Barricade. That’s all you are.

“’M fine,” he repeated, reaching up to curl one arm around Skywarp’s neck.  “Just a bad purge.”

Skywarp’s arm wrapped around him fiercely, taking in both Barricade and the bronze frame of Starscream, dragging them close, compressing Barricade between the two jet bodies.  Another time, and Barricade would have found it immensely arousing.  As it was, it was just warm and temptingly comforting.  Familiar and yet…dangerous. 

And despite himself, his energy field took comfort and strength from theirs, his frame registering their comfortable nearness, and his optics dimmed, drawing him gently, protestingly, back into a purgeless recharge.

[***]

“It was not,” Starscream murmured, “simply a memory purge of old events.  Something has happened.”

Skywarp froze from where he’d bent over, checking one of his ankle gyros.  “While we were gone?”  Skywarp thought of the trills of trepidation he’d had, and written off.  And suddenly every hesitation, every quiet moment when Barricade’s optics had drifted, seemed laden with sinister memory.

“I do not know. But it seems possible. I felt…something across the bond.” Starscream sighed, unhappily.  Even more unhappily as he saw the miniscule flash of envy across Skywarp’s face as the black jet straightened. That Starscream had felt something…and he had not. “I know he is yours,” Starscream said, apologetically. “That is why I am telling you.”

“Not mine,” Skywarp muttered, his hands clutching. “We’re a quaterne.” The effort hurt him: Starscream could see the pain on his face as he forced the ‘right’ thing to say from his vocalizer.

“He is ours, then,” Starscream corrected himself. “And it is a matter of concern that he has told none of us.”  Undeniable truth.

“What should we do?”  Skywarp’s optics were wide and…helpless. Acutely aware of his own lack of skill.  Aware that his natural impulse would be to pin Barricade down and shake him until he told him…whatever was being hidden.  Or force through the bond, riffling through his files until Skywarp found what he wanted. Right, Skywarp. Traumatize him again. 

“We must wait.” Starscream saw Skywarp bridle. Inaction was a sort of torture for the black jet. Starscream understood. He’d known Skywarp for…how long? Long enough to respect and treasure his ways. “We must make him feel safe. Give him opportunities to speak.  But without pressuring him.”

Skywarp shook. “I…can’t do that. I don’t have the patience.”  His optics tilted, worried.  “I’ll screw it up.”

“You will not.  He will tell us.” Starscream spoke with more confidence than he felt.  He’d been disquieted by what he’d felt along the bond. A hint of something…but a desperate fear of them finding out. Had he betrayed them somehow?  Was guilt tearing at him, keeping him silent?  Starscream felt disgusted and unworthy that he’d even had such a thought. Barricade had been nothing but loyal. Barricade had fought—or tried to—Onslaught when he’d thought the Combaticon was hurting Starscream.  No. It was not that. He would find out what it was. And he would believe the best about Barricade until he could believe no longer.

It was the only way he knew.

Comments

[anontfwriter.livejournal.com]

So that's what happened. I shudder to think about what's going to happen when the others find out. I don't think Soundwave's going to survive the encounter somehow though. Maybe not even Megs either.

[kurichi-chan.livejournal.com]

Aw poor Barricade. I thought it was sweet that he called out to Starscream in his memory purge. It's great that Barricade loves him too. They really have a lot in common and I love it when their relationship comes through in these bits. Skywarp being jealous is worrying, but it's something that they'll all get over. After all, a quaterne needs to care for each other to make it in the long run.

[chibirisuchan.livejournal.com]

poor, poor Barricade! ;_________; *hugs him, but carefully on account of the pointy bits*

I secretly hope Warp and TC get to kick Megatron's aft up through his skull while Starscream and Barricade get to cuddle each other and go neener a lot. Followed shortly thereafter by clattering robot cuddlepile.

[eaten-by-bears.livejournal.com]

My favorite part of this story is Starscream and Skywarp's possessiveness. They love Barricade, and they want to look after him, and they experience it in terms of belonging. It seems like a very Decepticon way to view the world.

[thepheonixqueen.livejournal.com]

oh, soundwave is dead! Barricade is not a puppet! (unless Skywarp wants him to be.) And Megatron should know not to touch a seeker's possessions especially lovers/mates! Skywarp is going to be so very very pissed!

[playswithworms.livejournal.com]

Despite his best efforts, he was causing them pain. Hurting even while trying to protect.

And so it is if you are loved, since your pain is their pain also - no way out of this one that's not going to hurt, might as well go forward. Aw, poor Skywarp, knowing himself to know exactly what wrong thing he's likely to do.

[shanfiction73.livejournal.com]

Echoes what everyone else has said. I'm glad that the Quaterne has essentially figured out that something is wrong on their own, by paying attention to Barricade. I love that Starscream has faith that whatever happened, Barricade was a victim and not the perpetrator.

[ithilgwath.livejournal.com]

Megatron and Soundwave are ratbastards.

*huggles 'Cade and the Jets*