Go to Hell

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

PG
Bayverse
Barricade/Starscream
no warnings

written for 10_orders  prompt, guess? Yup "go to hell"

 

Barricade was shaking with fury.  His fists clenched so hard he could feel the actuators strain.  This was not happening. NOT happening.

Except it was. Right in front of him, mediated only by an audio monitor .  Starscream, laughing about him.  Making fun of him and his ‘little grounder crush’.  Laughing.  At him.  This is probably what he really thinks of you, Barricade thought.  Why would he tell you the truth?  Probably laughs at you in his head when you interface. The size difference: he probably did look foolish.  

That thought…didn’t help. At all. 

Barricade clicked off the monitor, stabbing so hard into the button that he gouged it with a talon, as though turning the feed off would make it not happen.

The room fell silent, beyond the bleak hum of the computer systems, but the image, the words, were still vivid in Barricade’s mind, seeming to echo in the thickness of the silence. 

[***]

“Come now, Barricade.”  Starscream’s voice was tempting, as always, as he lay the stack of datapads on the console. An old ruse they had used dozens of times—the Air Commander entering the Science Officer’s work cube for tactical clarifications.  “You have been avoiding me.”

Barricade pinched his mouthplates tight. He wasn’t going to lie.  “Yeah.”  He had been avoiding the jet, knowing this was coming, knowing he didn’t want to look Starscream in the face.

“Why?” The head tilted, that way Starscream tilted his head, and the familiarity of the gesture sent a pang through Barricade.

Barricade slammed himself back in his chair, hard enough to make his window-wings sting.  He did not want to be having this conversation.  “You know why.”

“If I did, why would I ask?”  Starscream stepped closer, coming to rest one hip against the console.

To make me say it, Barricade thought. To make me acknowledge it.  To force those words to come out of my vocalizer. “Why would you?” he retorted. Weak retort, yeah.  And obviously masking hurt.

“You are…upset with me?” Starscream’s tone was almost wondering.  As if he couldn’t possibly imagine such a thing. Yeah, Barricade thought,  imagine that.  Who could possibly be upset at Starscream. The Air Commander.  He was just…SO perfect, he thought, savage with sarcasm.

Except, of course, he was.  Everything Barricade wanted to be: confident, capable, assured.  Not caring what others felt or thought about him.  And…the thrusters. He wouldn’t lie to himself about it: Starscream’s flight capability was endlessly fascinating to him.

“Yes,” he choked. 

The jet leaned back, one of his long, reverse-angled legs coming up, one foot resting on the arm of Barricade’s chair.  A friendly, relaxed gesture, the toes curling playfully around the contours, but it blocked Barricade from getting up.  “What have I done?”  The voice was soft, sympathetic, coaxing. “Tell me?”

Barricade’s optics skittered anywhere they could, which turned out to be all over the jet’s body.  It was…not helpful.  He eventually dropped his gaze onto his hands.  “Heard you.  Talking to Soundwave.”

Starscream’s face was blank for a handful of kliks. Barricade could practically hear his memory respooling. “I…how?”

Barricade felt an acidic burn near his spark chamber. No denial. No demurral. Only asking how he’d overheard. Yeah. Caught you, didn’t I? 

He hated being right.

He teetered, toying with the idea of refusing to answer. No, let the jet be the one who dealt in lies. “Comm monitor.  Duty roster.”

“Oh.”  That small sound said everything.  Barricade’s optic shutters snapped together.  Go away, jet, he projected at the Air Commander. Go away. I want to open my optics and you’ll be gone. “I can explain.”

“Don’t want to hear it.” 

A stunned silence. He could actually hear Starscream’s capacitor trip.  “You do not?”

No, he thought.  Don’t want to hear your excuses that I’ll grab onto.  He shook his head. 

“What can I do?” The jet’s voice was strangely small. Despite himself, Barricade’s optics flicked up. Starscream’s optics were earnest, concerned.  Yeah, but you heard him. You heard him. Laughing about you. Saying that Barricade fawned after him. That he thought it was funny. Worse, that he thought it was…useful. 

That had been the worst.  That he was just being used.  That he wasn’t anything special.  That he’d been duped all along.  Sweet words, tender caresses, bait.  He ground his talons together. He forced himself to look up, to meet Starscream’s gaze.  “Nothing,” he said.  “Heard what you said.”

“Barricade…,” Starscream began, and he reached out one hand.  Barricade quivered, remembering that hand. Remembering a thousand touches with that hand—gentle strokes and forceful pushes and everything in between.  A hand he had seen kill, and then brush playfully under his grille.  A symbol of everything. 

“Don’t want to hear it,” he said.  Pleaded, in his way.  He pushed out of the chair, taking the long way.  He made it to the door on trembling servos.

“So…?”  Starscream asked, and his voice was rawer and more naked than Barricade had ever heard.  So.  Yeah. 

“Go to hell,” he snapped, slapping his palm on the door code pad. 

 

Comments

[yukiko-angel.livejournal.com]

nah? nah!! You can't make us see this D:

[anontfwriter.livejournal.com]

Beautiful!

[http://users.livejournal.com/__wilderness__/]

*hauls Barricade back* Listen to him frag you!

[kurichi-chan.livejournal.com]

I like this side of Barricade!

But I think that what Starscream had to say was kind of important ^^; Regardless, he hurt him ;.;

[xxsomeoneelsexx.livejournal.com]

Soundwave's always trouble for them one way or another, isn't he? ;_;

[chibirisuchan.livejournal.com]

....*WIIIIBBBLE*

*kicks Starscream in the ankle*

*hops on one foot on account of squishy toes lose the battle with big metal feet*

I strongly suspect Starscream was doing something complicated and political, BUT. Ow. Poor Barricade...

[wingzbot.livejournal.com]

**hugs Barricade**! ;-;

I can think of an explanation or two for why Starscream was saying what he was saying to Soundwave, but still ><; that was harsh!

I love Barricade's strength in this fic ^^ Very confident, which you mentioned was one of the things he strives to be!

Me likey! =3 <3

[scarredbutalive.livejournal.com]

Why do I get the feeling Starscream does this to protect Barricade?

But, HUGS CADE!!

[ithilgwath.livejournal.com]

;A;
*whines*

[ida lindelöf (from livejournal.com)]

Hello there! Been reading through lots of your texts again. But I do wonder, it probably is one of your texts, it feels like it but I am looking for one in particular. I have a vague memory of Barricade hiding in a vent or some such after an attack and Starscream being outside and trying to get him to come out. Is this your text? If it is, where can I find it? (the name of it)

and btw, I adore your Drift/Deadlock-fics but I do miss Barricade, especially the Sky And Ground aftermath fics, will you continue them?