Chicken....!

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

NC-17
G1
Skywarp, Rumble
sticky, crack, erm....abuse of rubber chicken?
for mdnytryder !

 

“Come on!” Skywarp said, squirming.  “I can make it worth your while!”  He tried—and failed—to strike a seductive pose along the bulkhead.

“Make it worth my while—what kinda price you put on my sanity, mech?” Rumble turned away, stomping down the corridor.  Skywarp hurried—gimpily—to catch up. 

“Rumble,” Skywarp whined, which did not do much for that air of ‘sultry’ he was trying to project.  “You’re my only hope!”

Rumble ground to a stop, rounding on Skywarp. “You,” he said. “Are a fraggin’ weirdo. And you got your weirdo-aft into this mess,” Wow, he thought, that was a pretty poor choice of words. Kinda the other way ‘round, really. “And you get to get it out. Yourself.”

“But…but my hands!”  Skywarp waggled his purple fingers in front of Rumble. “Too big!”

Totally not an image Rumble wanted on his cortex, but…there it was, anyway: the black and purple Seeker squatting down somewhere, hand rooching in his valve, optics distant, staring off into space somewhere the way you did when you were reaching into some place you couldn’t see. 

Do. Not. Want.  Rumble shook his head. “Get away from me, with your big-aft hands, pervert.” 

“But I can’t help it,” Skywarp pleaded. “It’s heat.  I just…go crazy or something.” 

“You’re already crazy, thrusterbrains,” Rumble said. “Now get outta my way before I call Soundwave.”

“Soundwave? Will he help?” The optics brightened. 

Rumble slapped one of his hands over his face. Crazy and stupid.  Terrible combination.  “No!” 

“Seriously!” Skywarp’s thighs rubbed together. “It really hurts.  Please?”

“No.  Back off.”  Rumble tried to step around the Seeker, but Skywarp kept moving in front of him. “Whyn’t you go see Hook or someone. Someone competent.” Someone ELSE.

“Uhhh…,” Skywarp’s face contorted, his optics vaguely worried.  “Hook…doesn’t like me.”

Yeah, like I do? Rumble thought.

“I’ll do anything!”

A devious glint in Rumble’s optics. “An-y-thing?”

Skywarp nodded, earnestly. “No wait.  I…uh…won’t do this thing again.”

Urgh.  “Fine.  Anything.  And…not right here, for frag’s sake.  Some of us have some slaggin’ dignity.” Not much, apparently, Rumble thought, sadly.  Buh-bye, dignity. 

Skywarp did a twisting, squirmy walk, nearly dragging Rumble to the nearest supply hangar.  “Look. No one here,” Skywarp said, apparently taking care of the preliminaries.  He flopped onto the floor, spreading his thighs. “Please!” 

Rumble hesitated.  How much more could his life suck? Not much.  He was already regretting agreeing, and trying to figure how he was gonna explain this one to Soundwave.  ‘Yeah, I had to yank some junk outta Skywarp’s valve.’  Well, he couldn’t be accused of making it up.  This was the kinda thing too ridiculous for one of Rumble’s usual little, ya know, creative fictions. 

“Come onnnnnnnnnn!”  Skywarp whined. Frag. Was there ANYTHING more annoying than a whiney jet?  Yeah, apparently: a whiney jet who was bouncing on his aft, legs spread. It was…nowhere near as hot as it sounded. 

“Primus. Okay! Open up.”  Rumble winced. Things he never thought he’d say. 

Skywarp popped open his interface access hatch. His valve was seeping glossy clear lubricant.  “In there,” he said. As if Rumble needed a fraggin’ compass and a map. 

Rumble rolled his optics, dropping to one knee.  This was beyond weird.  Like, a detour right past weird and into ewwwwwww territory.  Still, it would stop the jet whining  and he’d maybe get a favor out of it, so….  He gave a significant look at his hand.  Farewell, dear hand, he thought, for tonight we shove you into…the abyss.  “Don’t understand what the big deal is about this,” he muttered.  “You’ve shoved weird stuff up your valve before, haven’t ya?” Least, that’s what the base gossip was.

“Yeah but I didn’t realize that this is…rubber!”  Skywarp wailed.  “It cuts the current!” His optics grew round and wide. “It’s HORRIBLE!” 

Rubber. So that meant…Skywarp was getting hotter and hotter but wasn’t able to get off.  All that squirming suddenly made a (disturbing) kinda sense. And explained all the lubricant.  “Right.  Just…hold fraggin’ still.”

Skywarp nodded, leaning back on his elbows as Rumble started working his hand up the valve.  Skywarp writhed, his vents kicking up in tempo.  Rumble could feel the current connect with his hand, prickling against his fingers, as he wormed his hand up to the wrist, twisting it around.  “Fraggin’ black hole in here,” he grumbled. “OW!!!!” Skywarp clamped his valve calipers, crushing Rumble’s forearm. “That’s it!” Rumble howled. “I’m done!” He jerked back, but Skywarp held him fast.  With his valve. 

This was…getting harder and harder to imagine explaining to Soundwave.  Frenzy would flip the frag out. Probably call him ‘Cool Hand’ or something dumb like that.  “You’ll get it out,” Skywarp hissed.  The valve gave a warning flex.

“Okay! Okay! Just…leggo!”  Rumble winced as the valve released its grip. “Almost got it anyway.”  He hoped.  And then he was going to autoclave his hand. Forever.

“Got it!” he said, his hand closing around something…kinda small and stringy, really.  Was this what was calling all those problems?  Rumble, as was only sensible in the circumstances, he thought, got his hand outta there most riki-tik. With extreme prejudice. 

Skywarp arched up as Rumble jerked his hand back out, rolling to one side, thighs together, curling into a shuddering ball, one hand slipping between the thighs. And Rumble found himself staring at his wet hand, holding a…rubber chicken. 

Jets…were fraggin’ weird. 

And this one? Was fraggin’ LOUD! Skywarp thrashed on the floor, fingers finally able accomplish the overload that the rubber of the, uh, chicken prevented for so long. 

“Oh frag, oh frag oh frag,” Skywarp fell back, panting, silver hipframe quivering.  “Oh fraaaaag thank Primus SO much!” 

“More like…thank Rumble,” Rumble said, sourly. “And you slaggin’ owe me. So bad.” 

“What do you want?”  The optics were suddenly wary.

Rumble considered. “Know what I want? I wanna watch.”

“Watch?”

“You know.  You and TC and Screamypants.” 

Skywarp snorted. “Is that all? Frag. Thought you were gonna ask for something hard.” He snatched the rubber chicken, throwing it behind him where it splatted wetly against the wall. “We can go right now!”

“Uh, not right now,” Rumble said.  “Got stuff to do. Maybe…tomorrow?”

 “Don’t know why you want to wait, but, whatever.” Skywarp shrugged. “Guess you wanna build anticipation, maybe?” He leered.

Wait?  Oh, that wasn’t it.  At all.  Rumble needed to hit up Soundwave for the recording equipment.  He was gonna sell this like crazy. “Anticipation,” he said, grinning. “Yeah. That’s it.”

 

Comments

[ithilgwath.livejournal.com]

Bah, who likes being sane anyway? ;)

oh hey wait, does that mean if I'm craaaazy I get to fool around with a certain teleporting Seeker? *biiig grin*