Snowfight

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

G
Bayverse
Blackout/Barricade
for trans_crazy  , prompt 'snowball fight' 

“This sucks,” Barricade complained, his tires slipping on the packed snow of the road for about the seventy-third time. His whole undercarriage was clotted with frozen slush, gravel and roadsalt. He hated roadsalt. Like burning. And…kind of itching, too.

“You think everything sucks,” Blackout said, hovering overhead.  “It’s not that bad. It’s this thing called ‘weather’. Planets, you know, have it.” 

Somehow, sarcasm from the copter just made it worse. No, not somehow.  Definitely worse.  “Cram it, copter,” Barricade retorted. “You don’t have to deal with these slaggin’ poorly designed roads.”  Stupid humans and their stupid roads.  You’d think a culture that had invented electron microscopes and America’s Best Dance Crew would have the technological knowhow to manage to heat their slaggin’ roads.  

“Oh, yeah, it’s a lot better up here,” Blackout muttered.  “Near zero-vis, so I could like…fly into a tree at any moment, and the constantly changing winds, and the icing…it’s a carnival up here. But you don’t hear me complaining about it.” 

“Except for, you know, that complaining,” Barricade snerked.

“That was…,” Blackout grumbled. “That was for demonstration purposes only.” 

“Right.” 

“Look, I’m just saying that Met is part of mission variables. And besides, complaining about it doesn’t make it any better.”

“Makes me feel better.”  Barricade tilted around a white hump that was an abandoned car. 

“Does it? Does it really?”

“Your condescension is really not helpful, Blackout,” Barricade muttered.  “Can we just get there already?” 

“Almost.  The road exit is up ahead.”

“Don’t know why you’re slaggin’ tailing me, Mr. Master-of-the-Skies,” Barricade muttered. “Must get off on watching me skid.”

Blackout laughed. “Yeah, there is that.  But mostly following the roads mean I won’t fly into a cliff, or tree, or…something.”  Wow, what was with this tree-collision thing with the copter now?

Barricade grumbled something incoherent, and angled carefully toward the unplowed exit.  The unpacked snow was actually easier for his tires to grip, though not with any great speed. He crawled along, but steadily, headlights turning the furiously flying snow into white, glittering gold. “Just be ready to do your job.”  Last thing Barricade needed was a crabby copter.  Most of all because Barricade had already cornered the market on crabby and he really didn’t need competition.

“Ready to get it over with,” Blackout said.  “Then I can go back up to the Nemesis, de-ice, maybe take a nice, hot, oil bath….”

“Shut up,” Barricade grumbled.  The copter did not get it. Road salt: ITCHY.  His engines snarled as he fought up a hill. The road was deserted, the snow a thick pristine blanket of downy whiteness under a pink, flurrying sky.  “Better be some fraggin’ energon there and not a fritzed signal.”

Blackout said nothing, hovering as Barricade’s tires labored up the crest of the hill.  He moved forward with Barricade, before he suddenly shot down in front of him, throwing his legs out from under his alt.  His feet splayed into the snow, casting impact spatter, sinking in up to his toeplates, big puffy clumps of snow shooting radially from his landing.

Barricade tried to skid to a halt, his sideways-slipping tires failing to grip in the slick snow. He burst into his bot mode, also, desperate to stop, rolling to a shock-landing against Blackout’s heel.  “…the frag?!”

Blackout had dropped into a crouch, cheek flanges clapped closed, optics scanning the swirling whiteness intently.  “Thought I got an Autobot signal.”

“Yeah?” Barricade clambered to his feet, readying his spoke weapon deployment code.

Blackout tilted his head, scanners working.  He straightened. “Nah. Nothing.”

The copter’s scanners, designed for aerial work, were more accurate than Barricade’s right now.  Barricade snarled, feeling foolish, trying to wipe off the snow and the roadsalt that had gotten under his plating. Awesome.  Points for style, copter, he thought.  “Can we get on with it?”

Blackout pointed. “It’s over there, the energon signal.”

“Great.” Barricade stomped off the roadside, not even bothering to mention that yeah, he, too, had the energon signal on his scanner.  Blackout moved behind him, warily, as Barricade pushed through some underbrush, and down a talus into a clearing.  He hesitated, running his scans. Nothing. Not on heat, not on visual.  He stepped forward, then jerked to a stop, cursing, as a branch he bumped dislodged a pile of snow onto his head.

Behind him, Blackout chortled.  Which did not help.  Barricade shook himself, trying to de-snow himself.  Stupid planet. Stupid met.  Stupid SNOW.  He stormed across the clearing, zeroing in on the reading.  “It better slaggin’ be he—whoa!”  Pfwhump! Something cold exploded against his back. Right. Between. His window-wings.

He whirled, spoke weapon deploying, to see Blackout doubled over in laughter, hands resting on his knees. “Oh, Primus,” Blackout gasped. “Sorry, but there was a snow-free spot.”

“I got your ‘snow free spot’!” Barricade howled. He snapped his weapon back in its housing, scooping to ball up some snow. 

Ha, he could hold his own on any battlefield: the snowball landed, directly in the angle of Blackout’s crest.  The copter’s optic shutters blinked. “Hey!” 

“What?” Barricade said, lobbing another snowball. “You like this local ‘weather’ so much, right? Why not get to know it really well?” Whump, whump, whump.

“Yeah? But I didn’t hit you in the face!” Blackout threw one back. Barricade twitched to one side, his pauldron tire swinging to catch the snowball, which exploded with a soft white burst.

“Ha! Missed, copter!”  He flung another snowball back, this one thudding on the cabin bell.

“Lucky dodge,” Blackout retorted. He threw another, hitting Barricade in the groin, right where the armor had a gap by his interface hatch. Barricade doubled over at the sudden wash of cold. 

“You fragger,” he croaked. Frag that was COLD. 

“Did I miss that time?” Blackout taunted. “Kind of hard to hit such a small target.”

Oh, copter, you are going to pay!  Barricade bunched up snow in his talons, dropping down into a squat, and began whipping snowballs at Blackout, not even bothering to aim, just slapping them downrange. 

And then it struck him that…Blackout wasn’t throwing back. He looked up.

The copter had his back to him, some of Barricade’s later rounds white pockmarks on his grey armor.  Insult! Barricade howled, scuttling over to fresh snow to make another salvo. 

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” Blackout snickered, turning around. 

Holding a mound of snow the size of Barricade’s chassis.  “My turn.”

Oh frag. 

Comments

[evvj.livejournal.com]

xDDDDDDDDDDD
Do you know, I don't think I've ever been in a snowball fight? They were never allowed on school grounds because of the possibility for ice in the snowballs and the injury that could cause, and I never played with any kids outside of school because I was (and still am) a wallflower.

But now I want to have a snowball fight. With someone. Just as long as they don't throw snow at my face because I do know what snow in one's face feels like (thank you, tobogganning accidents) and it's really not awesome.

Anyway. Oh my gosh this was so cute. <3
Barricade is probably my favourite Bayverse Decepticon because of you.

[oni-gil.livejournal.com]

:O NEVER?! This is... this is... AAH! Go have a snowball fight this winter!!!

[evvj.livejournal.com]

OKAY. =D

Now I'm looking forward to it.
(Although I don't know who I can actually have one with... =/ )

[flybystardancer.livejournal.com]

I think I've never had one either... But then again, grew up in a climate without snow. Took ski trips, but we were skiing. Or sledding. Or in the car watching the snow. Or getting hot chocolate in the lodge. And then there was some snow while I was at college, but I was studying or hurrying to/from class. >_>

[evvj.livejournal.com]

I couldn't imagine living in a climate where there is no snow. Winter is my favourite season just because it's so beautiful, and honestly it's a lot of fun too. (This afternoon I was walking home from school and suddenly I realized that my cheeks were cold and I was like, It's snowing out and my cheeks are cold and it's December and it's winter time =DDDDD!)

[flybystardancer.livejournal.com]

I love my climate. I freeze easily, so living in place that does get some snow (like where I went to college) was hard on me. lol I mean, I have two fleece blankets already here! And our heat in summer is dry compared to pretty much all of the eastern half of the country. lol

I kept being thrown by the snow when I was at school. For me, snow was a vacation-only thing, so just looking out the window of my room to see it threw me. lol

[arirashkae.livejournal.com]

:gigglesnort:

Don't worry, Barricade. Just make sure Blackout give you a ride back, and you can drip all that snow melt in his cargo bay. As an added benefit, the clean snow show rinse some of the salt off, and it can dry all over Blackout. ^_^

[albinocthulhu.livejournal.com]

I see in the near future Barricade partially buried in a mound of snow. XP

[chibirisuchan.livejournal.com]

*gleeeeeee* mental image theater: big ol' pile of snow with Blackout grinning beside it... and then four little red eyes melt their way through the front of the snowpile with sheer force of RIGHTEOUS-OUTRAGE GLOWER POWER.

[mewsing.livejournal.com]

Most of all because Barricade had already cornered the market on crabby and he really didn’t need competition.

HA HA! Brilliant.

Two thumbs up. Fine holiday fun! d^__^b

[http://users.livejournal.com/__wilderness__/]

*splorfle* That last line just about killed me!

[miss-paw-prints.livejournal.com]

xD This was so hilariously cute! <3 It totally makes me want to have a snow ball fight this winter... Now, all I need is the snow to come already.

[ithilgwath.livejournal.com]

*manic giggles* That was awesome. Decepticons having a snowball fight. WIN.

[artemis10002000]

Awwwww! *melts from sheer Decepticon cuteness*