The MGFN

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

PG
Bayverse
CrackConstructicons/Grindor
No real warnings, unless Scrapper is a warning.

For zomgitsalaura ’s prompt:  grindor/constructicons >_>
and something to do with, you know, building?

 

“You’re going to love this!” Scavenger said, grabbing Grindor’s wrist.  “We’ve been waiting all day to show you!”

Long experience with the Constructicons had taught Grindor that there was a significantly high probability that he would not, in fact ‘love this’. But he could go along.  Well, not like he really had a choice.  Even if he could give Scavenger the slip, Scavenger pretty much had his location monitored at all times. Which was probably how Scavenger just came to be hanging out in the hangar to begin with. 

Scavengerloped along the corridor, dragging Grindor along, burbling happily.  And they knew, Grindor figured, to send Scavenger, mostly because he was so very bouncy and that Grindor could just about not say no to him. 

He had tried, once, and that had ended up with a cycle-long whining tantrum punctuated by Scavenger pounding his head into the floor.  Grindor shuddered inwardly. No: better to go along with Scavenger than to face that again.

“Can I ask what it is, or is that supposed to be a surprise?”  Better try to find a way to steel himself.

“Oh no! It’s not a surprise!  Mixmaster just didn’t want to say anything to you about it until it was almost done and stuff.  You know.” Scavenger’s optics narrowed behind the protective cage. “Engineering stuff,” he said, conspiratorially. “Sometimes, it doesn’t work so good.”

Good to know. 

Grindor waited, stumbling along behind Scavenger.  Wait? Wasn’t he going to…?  “Umm, okay, so, what are you working on?” 

Scavengerturned, flashing an incandescent smile.  “It’s the MGFN!  Massive Gravitron Field, uhhhh,…Negavator? Nullifcator?  No-ness-if…ier?”  His optics glazed, confused, before he snapped out of it. “Whatever.  It’s got a cool acronym and that’s what counts.”

MGFN was, as far as Grindor could tell, a terrible acronym. “It, uh, nullifies gravity?”  

“Yep! Well, it will, once we finish it!” 

We?  Grindor did not like this ‘we’ at all.  But he couldn’t even summon up a half-hearted protest before Scavenger turned and winged him into the gestalt’s work-quarters, bellowing, “He’s here!” from the doorway.

He caught his balance—Scavenger might be a little on the low-wattage side, but he was strong—rotors flaring, in the middle of the room.  “Uh, hi?” he said, sheepishly at the others who’d stopped their work and turned to look at his not-so-dignified entrance.

“You,” Scrapper smirked, wiping his hands on a rag. “Are going to love this.”  The Constructicons were clustered around a large purple and silver device that looked like a cannon had performed unnatural acts with a radar dish while cross-dressing.

“Uhh, so I’ve been told.”

Scrapper’s face fell, then brightened. “Yeah, but not by me.”  

“True.”  Grindor had figured with him it was better just to agree. “So, uh, maybe you can explain what it does better?” 

Scrapperer brightened even more. “Oh, the concept is simple.”

“So simple it only took us three cycles to explain it to Scabs,” Long Haul cut in.

Scavenger pouted, audibly. “Hey, I’m in charge of aesthetics and armor. Not all that dopey gravitron solenoid goodbye-ifier thing. All I gotta know is where it’s vulnerable.”

“Even that’s a challenge, Scabs,” Long Haul muttered. “And your ‘aesthetics’ fail at stealth. Seriously. Glitter purple?”

“It’s a ultimate weapon,” Scavenger argued. “They’re supposed to be a little, you know, sexy.”

“Sexy?”

“Shut it,” Scrapper said, grabbing at Grindor’s arm. “I’m explaining it to him.”

“Yeah, better that than actually doing work,” Hightower mumbled, where was bent over the top of the huge device. Which wasn’t really that ‘sexy’, Grindor thought, but it was kind of striking. 

Scrapper’s glare bounced off Hightower’s broad back, before he turned back to Grindor. “Right. Ignore these idiots.  The MGFN is the ultimate in super-weapons.  It is a target-effect, short-range, short-term gravity disruptor.”  He grinned. “We zap, they float.  And any weapons they fire float, too.” 

“That’s, uh…pretty cool actually.”  The science behind it was astonishing.  “Can they move, like, fly? What’s the effective mass?” A hundred other questions bubbled to his cortex.  This weapon could be pretty handy. “What happens if one of us touches someone that’s hit?”

“That stuff,” Mixmaster said, jumping off the heavy treads of the MGFN, “Is why we called you here.”  He strode over. “We’re about to run some tests, and we figured it’d be useful to have someone who could fly—“

“Useful? Frag you, Mix,” Rampage muttered. 

Mixmaster shrugged, his heavy domed armor shifting. “We even got us a volunteer.”

“Volunteer? You fraggers tricked me!”

“Not a trick,” Hightower said, bending to get a multimeter. “Kind of a bribe. If all goes well.”

“If all goes well,” Rampage mimicked, sneering.  “Can’t believe I fell for this.”  The way he eyeballed Grindor made the copter suspect that he was somehow involved in this ‘bribe.’

“ALSO,” Scrapper said. “Because you’re like the strategic genius, right? So, you see what it can do, first hand, and, you know, help us write up the expense report.”

“Pad it, you mean,” Long Haul snickered.

“Don’t critique my creative accounting,” Scrapper tossed over his shoulder. “Reason I’m the math mech around here.”

“Called ‘you’re too lazy to work,’” Hightower retorted.

Grindor shook his head. He had no idea how they managed to function without killing each other, but he’d come to terms with the fact that this sort of sniping was just…how they were, really. Still, sometimes it took on more of an edge than he was comfortable with, but he couldn’t tell if that was their problem, or, you know, his. But he knew his presence softened it, and sometimes it seemed that they wanted him there just for that. “So,” he said, cutting through the glares that were ricocheting around the room from Constructicon to Constructicon, “Let’s get started? I kind of want to see this in action.” 

Mixmaster lunged forward, pulling Grindor into an abrupt, awkward, but completely genuine hug, his shoulder-panels bonking against Grindor’s frame. “That’s what we like about you, copter,” he said. “Always have our best interests at heart.”  And as Mixmaster pulled away, Grindor knew it wasn’t just the project he was talking about. 

Mixmaster turned away, with a wink and a nod, and bellowed, “All right, you band of stripped bolts, how ‘bout we show Grindor here what we can do.  Before we show him that other thing we can do.”

“So,” Long Haul said. “There’s no way this can fail. Either it fails and we have, you know, consolation sex, or it succeeds and we have…victory sex?  I like it.” He eyeballed Grindor, his green fingers wriggling salactiously.

“Back off, dumpy. I get to show him first,” Rampage muttered. “Fraggin’ volunteering and all.”

“See?” Scavenger burbled over Grindor’s shoulder. “Told you you’d love it!” 

Ummm, yeah.  Grindor just hoped he wouldn’t have to say anything nice about the look of the thing. 

“Right,” Mixmaster barked. “You,” he pointed at Hightower. “Man the controls.  YOU!” He jabbed a pointed talon at Rampage. “Stay there and get hit.”   Rampage growled, his fists balling. “And you?” Mixmaster jerked a thumb skyward. “Get airborne! Team effort, mechs! Chop-chop!”

Chop…chop?  Grindor hesitated.  Mixmaster glowerd. “Well? You part of this team or ain’t ya?” 

Grindor blinked, realization hitting him. “Yes!” he said, grinning, before his copter mode folded over him. He was, in his own way, part of the team.

 

Comments

[zomgitsalaura.livejournal.com]

a large purple and silver device that looked like a cannon had performed unnatural acts with a radar dish while cross-dressing.

oh god. i love you so much for this xD

[akisawana.livejournal.com]

THIS WAS THE EXACT COMMENT I WAS GOING TO MAKE.

Also, I love this pairing. Orgy. Whatever. It's entertaining as hell and also an interesting look at intergestalt dynamics and Grindor deserves a medal and a blowjob.

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

Poor Grindor. :c But they do treat him well, right?

Glad you liked! They are crazy fun to write!

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

Grindor just calls 'em like he sees 'em! :D I'm glad you liked!

[arirashkae.livejournal.com]

ROFL! Oh, man, the whole lot of them sound like an old married couple bitching. Awesome! ^_^

(And yes, I love the description of the Null-ray-quest-thing too ^_^ )

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

I kind of model them on how my old Army squad used to act. Insults show we care! XD

[arirashkae.livejournal.com]

If you can't insult your family, who can you insult?

Is it wrong that I now want a model MGFN as a paperweight? Just for the "WTF?!? O_o" reactions?

[playswithworms.livejournal.com]

Hee hee - I love how Scrapper burbles :D MGFN is the coolest acronym evar, yes indeed lol.

And consolation sex or victory sex, it's a win win! XD

[chibirisuchan.livejournal.com]

this is hilarious, but I also can't help going oh my god Rampage you are SERIOUSLY going to STAND THERE AND LET THEM SHOOT YOU WITH THAT THING oh god should I call the paramedics now or wait for the screaming to start oh god oh god I can't watch tell me when it's over. Just, you know, because. XD

[albinocthulhu.livejournal.com]

a large purple and silver device that looked like a cannon had performed unnatural acts with a radar dish while cross-dressing - XD That is A hilarious explenation. If only I knew what those things were.

Yum.

[gunmaxual.livejournal.com]

Alright, like all your Grindor/Constructicon wonderfulness, I love it. One thing that bugged me enough to go back and read all of the series again (oh, the horror. I laughed so hard. I felt so put upon. ;) was that...well, did Scavenger and Scrapper switch personalities from story to story? I was a bit baffled, I must admit...

Re: Yum.

[niyazi-a.livejournal.com]

Well. Color me about six different shades of embarrassed and derp. Thanks for the catch and for pointing it out to me! Fixed! *facepalm of atomic proportions*

[ithilgwath.livejournal.com]

The Constructicons were clustered around a large purple and silver device that looked like a cannon had performed unnatural acts with a radar dish while cross-dressing.

I just adore the turns of phrase you pepper your writing with. This was a jem.

Hee, this was all very sweet. I love this series.